I had never, until now, played an Assassin’s Creed game. I was vaguely aware of the franchise involving jumping off tall buildings, hoovering up collectibles from all over expansive worlds and a much-maligned modern-day sci-fi meta-plot getting in the way of historical shenanigans.
I was never all that interested, but Ubisoft decided to give the 4th game in the series — frequently hailed even by cynical outlets as “the good one” — away for free, and my curiosity got the better of me. What could possibly go wrong?
Saints Row IV is a Mass Effect parody that wants to be a Sonic game. Pretensions to being an open-world crime simulator are finally revealed to be just that — pretensions. There are many games packed in here and very few of them care to make much use of the game’s supposedly core mechanics.
Luckily, all of those different games are pretty well done and the parody is hilarious. Does that make it right? Let’s talk about it.
I should like The Witcher. I really should. It’s a giant single-player action-RPG, full of sex (very little romance, though) and bad language. On paper, the only turn-off is the grimdark, and there’s enough banter to offset that.
In reality… I’m not so sure. The most prominently off-putting part of the game is its combat system, which seems to be trying to simultaneously pull itself in two entirely different directions — resulting in an unhappy mishmash.