Blog 686: Close, But No Biscuit – James Bond – Part 5

“Our Bond is Better” seems to be the recurring claim of the Daniel Craig era. “What were you expecting, an exploding pen?” Well, yes, actually — but even if I wasn’t, these films don’t ever deliver on their claims of being better. The gritty introspection that is the hallmark of modern Bond actually isn’t built up or built on in any meaningful way, so we are left with… nothing. Nothing but sadness, emptiness, and a hollow, pointless rage.

Alas, we are the problem, because we both still paid money to see these films.

(Transcript is included in the blog post.)

Continue reading

Advertisements

Blog 684: Close, But No Biscuit – James Bond – Part 4

SPECTRis all the more irritating because of the good things it had that it completely squandered. Willingness to retcon away the crap bits — nope, let’s retcon them to be even worse. Dave Bautista as a Proper Henchman — disposed of barely past the half-way mark. Crater Base as a final boss location — blown up after five minutes of screen time and it wasn’t even the finale. It was all me, James! (Smart blood.)

(Transcript is included in the blog post.)

Continue reading

Blog 682: Close, But No Biscuit – James Bond – Part 3

To be honest, I’m surprised I lasted until episode 3 before shoehorning A-ha in there — of course I would say that The Living Daylights has the best theme tune. There are many lessons to be learnt from a Bond film’s opening moments — the starting stunts, the title sequence and, of course, the music…

(Transcript is included in the blog post.)

Continue reading

Blog 680: Close, But No Biscuit – James Bond – Part 2

You know, in transcribing this podcast, I realise how differently I speak than how I write. In real life I stutter and switch tracks, lose my place and thoughts that I was about to say dribble away. To be fair, most of my blog posts spend a week (or even two) being refined and massaged into shape, turning a formless blob of thoughts into some kind of coherent narrative, and the live and raw nature of a podcast means my slow wits often let me down…

On that note, it’s time for part 2 of the James Bond Suite of Close, But No Biscuit! This one even has a musical interlude — check it, Brosno.

(Transcript is included in the blog post.)

Continue reading

Blog 679: Close, But No Biscuit – James Bond – Part 1

It’s amazing the avenues that technology can unlock. I got involved in a podcast at work, and loved it so much that I bought my own microphone.

Needless to say, I apparently love the sound of my own voice, so when Chris McPhail, one of my illustrious school friends, suggested we unleash the beast of critical evaluation together in front of the microphone… How could I resist? Close, But No Biscuit was born.

(Transcript is included in the blog post.)

Continue reading